write what is felt
the skillet hot
as you pinch cabbage out
tilt your head back
slither soggy greens into your mouth
“I love cabbage”
i already knew that
why else would i cook it?
my dad's favorite buttery invention
since age 8 i worshipped the slimy vegetable
your hair half up
dark circles spooning bark colored irises
crusty blood under your fingernails
often i fantasize about our toes
the tips of them perfectly fitting into the gaps of each other
it’s impossible, i know
my toes too long
yours too short
at least there’s no blood under the nails of your toes
or is there?
while driving home to you
lavender painted the sky, blue and pale
peaking from behind the storm ridden fluff
yellow shine hugging the edge; a golden lining
ideal for a backdrop of Midsummer
or another hoax of my imagination
“did you see the rainbow today?” you ask
you were telling something
trapped in feeling;
i neglect to answer
instead distracted mind ventures on an unconscious scavenger hunt:
thoughts of the (capital G) gay spectrum of colors cut in line
their shine in bubbles, gasoline, acid trips, and the universe
in galaxies pigments match flawlessly, without order or convention
this leads to thoughts of the unknown, of magic
a ponderment on monkeys and fire
escalating to humans and touch.
all concluding in the question of love,
winning in the feeling of you.
there’s a reason for rainbows, and there’s a reason for us -
other than medicating loneliness
the instant my neurological maze climaxes to emotional release
soggy cabbage swings between chimpanzee lips
“ouch, it’s hot,” you say
“I know,” i say
“when will it be done?”
“does it matter? you're already --- "
a freeze consumes your body
as it does when I spill a bad line
flash me your back and mutter
you exit the kitchen
no finale or grand exit
and surely no standing ovation
i want to call after
tell you about the lavender heavens, rainbows in space, our love
tell you the reason for no reason
instead i stand above
over cooked cabbage
grab the spoon to scoop out a ---
a burn drips down my chin and bottom lip
inattention's karma saying hi
will i ever understand your perfectly filthy grace?
are you a child left out in humid swamps, inside only to feed off cold attention?
are you the snow satin swan fluttering away when the air is fairytale happy?
are you both ---
and I am none.
deciphering translation among precise flaps
and murky brown frequency